Contributed by: Sandra Adams, CFP®, CeFT™
There are a million reasons why we don’t talk to our parents about their financial situation…
“I don’t want to be nosy. What if I offend them by asking them about something so personal?”
“What if they think I am asking because I don’t think they can handle their finances any longer?”
“I have my own problems to deal with. I am not going to bother trying to handle my parents’ issues, too.”
“I don’t need to know anything until they tell me, or until they’re gone.”
And, the list goes on and on.
And some of our parents may have their own hesitations about offering information to their adult children: fear of loss of control, not wanting their children to be aware of all of their financial resources for fear that they will want/need more from them before they are able to give it, or simply discomfort with the conversations that may be involved about their own longevity and/or mortality. However, in my experience, the majority of older adult clients are more than willing to begin to invite adult children, (at least those that are will be in charge of assisting with financial affairs in the case of incapacity or after death), into meetings to help them get a better understanding of the overall financial and estate planning picture. We strongly encourage this with our clients and their adult children!
Some of the strongest and most successful family relationships we have are with generations of families that take advantage of these kinds of meetings. Not only do they give us an opportunity to meet the family members that we will be working with if and when anything ever happens to mom and dad, but a number of additional items are uncovered during the annual meetings that can be extremely beneficial for the families:
They can develop a strong understanding of the overall financial status and financial plan
They have conversations about long term care planning, and reveal mom and dad’s preferences on how the finances fit into the plan
They have conversations about the overall estate plan and structure (who will be in charge, the flow of the estate, etc.)
They have conversations about charitable giving and its importance during life and after death
They have conversations about how they wish their assets to be passed on to future generations (how, why, etc.)
It has been an amazing experience for many of our families, some of whom have grown so much closer through the experience. If you have older adult parents and have hesitated to get involved or been afraid to approach the subject and need help getting started, please reach out. We are happy to help! We promise it will be worth the effort.
Sandra Adams, CFP® , CeFT™ is a Partner and Financial Planner at Center for Financial Planning, Inc.® Sandy specializes in Elder Care Financial Planning and is a frequent speaker on related topics. In addition to her frequent contributions to Money Centered, she is regularly quoted in national media publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Research Magazine and Journal of Financial Planning.
Any opinions are those of Sandra D. Adams and not necessarily those of Raymond James. Every investor's situation is unique and you should consider your investment goals, risk tolerance and time horizon before making any investment. Prior to making an investment decision, please consult with your financial advisor about your individual situation.