Contributed by: Sandra Adams, CFP®
Bonnie's Story
Bonnie and Carl had what they considered a very traditional marriage, with well-defined and balanced family roles. Carl was a corporate executive, so it seemed logical that he would manage all the family finances. Bonnie oversaw the running of the household, including maintenance, meals, the kids, and the household social calendar.
Bonnie knew they were financially comfortable but never really knew how much they had coming in or going out. Nor did she know how much they had saved or invested for retirement. Carl would bring her the signature page for the tax return annually, and when she asked how they did it, he would say, "We did fine, Bonnie. We have plenty of money…you don't need to worry." She would sign the return but never see the actual numbers, nor did she ask.
All the bank and investment statements would come in Carl's name, and she trusted him so completely that she was never tempted nor interested enough to look at them.
When Carl turned 78, he suddenly became ill. He was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and had only months to live. Bonnie was overwhelmed with the news. All she could do was care for Carl and try to spend what little time she had with him in a quality way. This did not involve asking him questions about their finances. When he passed away four months later, she found herself utterly ignorant about her financial situation and was quite anxious about what her financial future might look like. It was all a mystery to her.
Theresa's Story
Theresa was a caregiver for her husband, Henry, who had Parkinson's. She cared for him in their home for nearly eight years. Henry had managed the financial responsibilities during the marriage and continued to do so until the very end of his illness. Theresa did all she could to learn about their finances from Henry and started to manage them on her own. She understood their financial situation and what it might look like for her when Henry passed.
However, with the intense caregiving duties, not a lot of the information "is stuck." While she could pay her bills and had a firm grasp of their income and expenses, she had no sense of what her new normal would be. Nor did she have any relevant knowledge about how their investments and savings worked or how she would use them for herself going forward.
She also found herself anxious and depressed; the caregiving had kept her socially isolated. By the time Henry passed away, she had discovered that she had not been out with friends in over five years and had little sense of what was going on in the real world. She was overwhelmed and didn't know where to start.
These examples illustrate just two situations in which widows find themselves. While more women these days are involved with or in control of the financial planning for their families, it's not uncommon for some to find themselves in the dark when it comes to their marital and financial affairs. If they're not curious or forthright in asking to participate in the planning conversations, they likely find themselves in situations like Bonnie and Theresa — overwhelmed by the loss of their husbands and lacking the information they need about their own finances, entirely at a loss about how to plan for themselves.
What Can a Widow Do If She Finds Herself in This Kind of Situation?
Build a team. Start with a professional decision-making partner or team of partners to help. A financial adviser who focuses on comprehensive financial planning (a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional) should be part of the team. In addition, you might consider adding a Certified Professional Accountant (CPA) and possibly an estate planning attorney to the team for guidance on the full scope of the financial picture.
Get organized. With the assistance of the financial planner, gather information on all income sources, savings, and investments, and then determine a budget and ongoing expenses for the new normal lifestyle. This will lay the groundwork for a complete financial picture and help you understand your financial resources now and in the future.
Learn financial planning basics. With the help of the team, learn the basics of financial planning based on your own plan. Part of collaborating with a financial planner is understanding how financial tools and resources work and how they can work for you.
Become empowered. Don't stop at the initial plan. To become fully empowered, you need to grow and develop financial confidence over time. Maintaining the relationship with your team over months and years provides trusted financial partners to go to for help with questions and making financial decisions in the future.
Becoming a widow can be overwhelming. If you haven't been privy to your marital finances before your spouse's death, the adjustment can be even more difficult. If you have found yourself in this situation or know someone who has, the help of professionals and basic financial education can empower you and help you reclaim your own financial independence.
Sandra Adams, CFP®, is a Partner and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional at Center for Financial Planning, Inc.® and holds a CeFT™ designation. She specializes in Elder Care Financial Planning and serves as a trusted source for national publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Research Magazine, and Journal of Financial Planning.
The foregoing information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that it is accurate or complete, it is not a statement of all available data necessary for making an investment decision, and it does not constitute a recommendation. Any opinions are those of Sandra D. Adams and not necessarily those of Raymond James.
Prior to making an investment decision, please consult with your financial adviser about your individual situation. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Center for Financial Planning, Inc®. Center for Financial Planning, Inc.® is not a registered broker/dealer and is independent of Raymond James Financial Services.
The examples provided above are hypothetical in nature and do not represent actual people or situations.
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. (CFP Board) owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER®, and CFP® (with plaque design) in the United States, which it authorizes use of by individuals who successfully complete CFP Board's initial and ongoing certification requirements.